The Professional Expert

Thank you all for stopping by.

2005-04-16T00:11:00.000-07:00

It has dawned on me that, as I progress towards becoming a billionaire, and what will follow, I will not be able to keep a blog, for Professional reasons. With this in mind I have turned my attention away from this blog, and will only post here infrequently, with tidbits of my progress, and hints at what the future holds for the Professional Expert. Do not despair just yet at the loss of this mildly(at best) entertaining reading, for I have started a new blog, for an express purpose of providing y'all with entertainment, and brief glimpses into the mind of a contentedly alone man.

This new blog is called The Cigarette Dialogues, inspired by my aunt interrupting a darn good argument I was having with a certain inanimate object, and me realizing the silliness of this habit I had fallen into since leaving TAC. Here you can read some of the daily musings I have over a cigarette, presented in a dialogue format. There will be at least one new dialogue a day on this blog for as long as I have high-speed internet access(hopefully indefinitely). Although they might not always be riveting, the first dozen are some of the better ones I've saved for the starting of this new blog. For now, I will not be linking to people from this blog, as the focus will be on the content alone. Please stop by and have a gander. You just might enjoy it. ;-)

Be forewarned, however, the language can get a bit uncouth.

Note: I haven't yet properly designed The Cigarette Dialogues page. I do have some pretty sweet plans for it, though, so if you are patient you will be rewarded with a veritable feast for the eyes.

Mmhhm.-Yeah. Derefore, what?

2005-04-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

Take the last post with the possibility that the Freemasons are deeply entrenched in the upper echelons of our government, and hold considerable control over the direction of our actions as country.

Hmmm....again. Or for the first time, as you probably havent read the below post, yet.

Thoughts before sleep.

2005-04-15T00:32:00.000-07:00

The two most powerful single entities in the world today are the United States government, and the Vatican. What would/will happen if/when they truly clash?

Hmmmm...

When Life is getting you down...

2005-04-14T23:39:00.000-07:00

...I encourage you to watch the latest epsiode of South Park, titled "The Death of Eric Cartman".

It contains the second funniest moment in South Park, and maybe all of TV, history.

The funniest moment in TV history, of course, being when Eric Cartman strips to the buff and tries to "sneak" across a stage in front of dozens of people, because he believes he has powers of invisibility. That is in the episode titled "Good Times with Weapons", also known as "The Anime Episode" for it's unique blend of anime and standard South Park animation.

Taaa-daaa...Again

2005-04-14T15:20:00.000-07:00

Not realizing my silly mistake after the first re-design of the Pro-Expert, I now apologize to all you non-Mozilla users. The side bar is now appropriately aligned for optimum visual enjoyment. Don't forget to read about my experience with the JWs(below), recorded almost verbatim.

BTW, can someone e-mail me a list of all the TAC bloggers(not on my side bar) and the names of their blogs. I don't like linking to people whose names I don't, but feel I should, know.

Especially:
reedem the time
vomit the lukewarm
effortless atrocities
epiphatic exhaustion
heraclitus changing
wanton and forlorn

Fun With JWs

2005-04-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

A couple of JWs stopped by today while I was having a cigarette on the front porch. Here's a sampling of the dialogue that took place:

JW #1: Hi, we're Jehovah's Witnesses and we just wanted to ask you if you ever wondered why bad things happen.

Me: Actually, yes, I did use to wonder why bad things happen, especially with God being all-good. But when I was a teenager I realized that God created man with a free will, and when that free will chooses evil, bad things happen. Now, though, I am content with the understanding that it is man's nature to choose, and that to wish his nature to be any other way is a criticism of the Creator.

JW #1: Yes, well, but don't you wonder why bad things happen to good people?

Me: No, not at all. Do you?

JW #1: Because in Scripture it says, "[insert passage from Job about all things being in Jehovah's will, and for the greater glory]"

Me: Wow! I've never heard it like that before! What translation is that?

JW #1: Excuse me?

Me: I've read the Dhouay Rheims, Revised Standard Version, pieces of the Vulgate, and the New American translation. But I've never heard it like that. Who was it, again, that translated that Bible?

JW #1: Well, we believe that every word in Scripture comes from Jehovah. What I read you was from the Book of Job. You see, we know that every word in Scripture comes from Jehovah, because right here it says: "[insert that famous passage about every word of scripture being God-breathed, but substitue Jehovah in for God]".

Me(now thinking that this guy probably translated it himself) I don't understand what that tells me. Can you explain the point of that passage?

JW #1: Why of course! It's the most wonderful thing, you see!! Because now we know where God's word truly is. We don't have to run around in logical circles, like philosophers and theologians[these were his exact words], we can now rest peacefully in the message of Jehovah's love that we find in this book!!

Me: Wow! That's incredible!(pause - while thinking, 'wow, that irony is incredible!'). Do you have a pen, and some paper, I could use real quick!

(JW #1 finds, and hands me a piece of paper, and a pen. I turn away from them for a moment to scribble a quick message on the paper. I then hand him back his pen, along with the message, which reads "This is the word of Jehovah, everything said here is absolutely true. Everything Arthur Grumbine says is absolutely true.")

Me(after seeing the two of them furrow their brows, while reading it): Hi, my name is Arthur Grumbine...

(their zeal for discussion went downhill from here, and eventually they became so uncomfortable with their inability to answer my simple questions, and my ability to answer theirs, that they left, with much politeness)

So, in conclusion, while I was absolutely delighted with the opportunity to discuss the nature of man, the foundations of faith, and cyclic authority, with them, they did not share my zest for such a discussion.

Just remember folks, you too can have loads of fun with your JWs. Just make sure you don't scare them off by being too aggressive at first, and you'll find that JWs are truly a gift that keeps on giving(about every 3-4 months). Remember, JWs are just Jews without vowels.

Note: The Author does not condone the verbal, physical, mental, or spiritual abuse of Jehovah's Witnesses. Or Mormons for that matter.

Taa-daa!

2005-04-12T20:04:00.000-07:00

I got bored today, waiting on content for my biggest website project, and was so inspired by a couple people re-designing their blogs, that I decided to show y'all what website design is really about. Well at least what it's all about when I want to throw something together in a couple hours.

Note the cool links bar, with cool little rollover effects. C'mon, you can do it, put your mouse over one of the names. Ooooooh....Aaaaaaaahh.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I rock.

Thank you.

2005-04-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

As I was in the backyard, enjoying the warm, soothing pull of a cigarette, my gaze fell onto one of my uncle's two blossoming apple trees. In the light cast from the outdoor floodlight, the petals fairly glowed. My mind slipped through years of memories, resting upon the memory of the walk my siblings and I would take, to and from elementary school. In one of the alleys we walked through there was a large apple tree that hung over one of the fences. This tree blossomed ferociously every spring, but succeeding in producing only stunted, tough apples, come summer. The scent of the blossoms, though, was carried into our noses when we were still 30 yards from the tree, by virtue of the wind-tunnel effect of the alley. It was more delicious than any apple I've tasted.

Just wanted to give a holler out to God, for giving me so much.

Billion+ dollar idea.

2005-04-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

It's twisted, but somebody's gonna do it eventually, probably in my lifetime, so I just might be the one to make money off of it. Here it is:

Complete Life Management:
The individual will sign up to have The Company tell them how they can have the happiest life, and then set them up with this "happiest life". Through a thoroughly in-depth study of the individual, including personality, disposition, moral values, current environment, genetics, upbringing, etc., The Company finds the job, living conditions, entertainment, pastimes, and even the potential spouse that is "most suitable" for the individual. The Company will then secure all of these things for the person. The price will be a percentage of every consumer item purchased, as well as most, if not all, of the person's paycheck, for the rest of their life. After all, everyone just ends up spending their money towards "happiness", anyway. And The Company is already providing that. This transformation into the "new life" can be done gradually, or all at once, depending on the financial state of the person, as well as the income of the job "most suitable".

And here's the best part. "Most suitable" means whatever will keep the person sedated, and satisfied enough to tell all their friends/associates/family that this was the greatest choice they ever made.

It will also be the last real choice they ever make, as The Company will be sure to handle every possible aspect of their life from that point on.

It's sort of like a combination of purposes of modern advertising, eharmony.com, a career/guidance counselor, and the Matrix. And every single instant-gratification zombie out there will LOVE it. In addition, as The Company essentially will have control of what the individual sees as good, The Company will be able to use them to further its own purposes, i.e. politically, socially, etc. This will become THE religion for hedonists.

Other important point: All these people will choose Complete Life Management for their children, of course, because they "want what's best" for their kids, right? And who knows better than the ones that gave them such a fabulous life?

The Culture of Death

2005-04-05T22:55:00.000-07:00

It strikes me that the title "Culture of Death", does not truly strike to the core of the issue. The title that would be more fitting, as addressing the cause, would be "The Culture of Self".

People do not use contraceptives out of a desire to for death. Nor do women who are going in for an abortion think that it is such a great thing that they are killing the child in their womb. People do not ask to be euthanized because they look forward to death. Doctors do not push euthanasia because they gain pleasure out of killing another. It is almost always for the ease it gives themselves that they make these choices. It stems from their inability to look beyond themselves, to other human beings, to the natural order, or to God.

Our society has built up, through the last 50 years or so, an incredible ability to deny the reality of how the world outside of them needs them. Furthered by consumerism(is a consumer anything besides "one who takes into themself"?), and exclusive non-activities like watching TV(the biggest one), movies and playing video games, our sense of duty towards, and even awareness, of friends/family/society has evaporated. The only duty left is a duty to self("Do it for yourself. Because you deserve it").

Human beings have an apparently strong natural tendency towards compassion, as shown by the Terri Schiavo incident. Human beings do not seem to have a very strong natural tendency towards rational discussion, as shown by most of the responses to my last post(<--that's a joke. You can laugh now). This makes our task a little easier to start, as we can work on this "Culture of Self" problem on the emotional level, instead of the philosophical level. What we have to do is show our subjects(not fuedally-speaking) the depth of the pains, sorrows, and joys, of others, who are like enough to the subjects themselves that the subjects will easily identify, and their natural sense of compassion will kick in. Sort of like an emotional jumpstart, while pulling them outward from themselves for direction. Somehow the siren call of the instant-entertainment/gratification will have to be countered, as well.Maybe one of the Argonauts has some of those wax earplugs left...

Prioritizing, and focusing the "attack", next post...

Not a Joke.

2005-04-02T21:53:00.000-08:00

I'm going to speak out against the efforts spent on the fight to keep Terri Schiavo alive. This will anger many of you. I would only ask that you read this with an open, honest mind. I welcome all reasonable disagreement. Please provide support for any claims you are going to make, though. A great deal of my content was shamelessly taken from this Wikipedia article.

Persistent Vegetative State
Terri Schiavo was diagnosed to be in a persistent vegetative state. A persistent vegetative state(PVS) is a condition of patients with severe brain damage in whom coma has progressed to a state of wakefulness without detectable awareness.
In a Multi-Society Task Force study done in 1994 of 434 diagnosed PVS patients, only one patient (0.23% of the total) is recorded as recovering consciousness after 30 months, from the time of the trauma that caused the brain-damage. Before Terri Schiavo's feeding tube was removed this final time, it had been over 170 months since the time of her trauma.

One of the primary disputes is whether or not Terri was actually in a PVS. Here is the evidence for and against:

Since 1991, the Schiavos' personal physicians and six different court-appointed physicians had concluded that Schiavo was in a PVS.

Schiavo's parents videotaped Terri for four and a half hours and produced six video segments totaling four minutes and twenty seconds. Schiavo's parents cite the testimony and affidavits of 33 physicians and therapists (including 15 neurologists) who, after reviewing these four and a half minutes of video segments, believe that Schiavo should have received further tests and/or would have likely responded to therapy. None of the physicians saw the full four and a half hours of video. Only two of these physicians had access to her full medical history and examined her in person.(more on the physicians below).

HUGE POINT: The six video segments have been released publicly. The rest of the recorded video has not been released by Schiavo's parents. This means, that, assuming the Schindlers used all the footage they could get, less than 2% of her activity can be seen, in anyway, to be caused by cognizance.

The upper brain, was about 80 percent destroyed, and there was also damage to the lower brain. The only part of the brain that remained intact was the brain stem(which controls involutary functions).

Five doctors were selected to provide their expert opinions to the trial: two by Schiavo's parents, two by Michael Schiavo, and one by the court. Their analysis:
Both of Michael Schiavo's doctors concluded she was in a PVS.
Both of the Schindler's doctors concluded that she was not in a PVS.
The court-appointed doctor concluded that she was in a PVS.
However, only 4 of these doctors were actually neurologists. One of the Schindler's doctors was a radiologist(think x-rays, ct scans, etc.)
In addition, the neurologist selected by the Schindlers, since his appearance in the media spotlight in 2001, has falsely claimed to be a Nobel Prize nominee(click here for Quicktime clip from Hannity & Colmes).

A Missing Motive
The main reason I began this investigation, however, was when I found out nursing staff had complained that Michael Schiavo berated nurses for not taking better care of his wife, even to the point where the administration at one nursing home attempted to get a restraining order against him because he was demanding more attention for his wife at the expense of other patients' care. These kinds of actions do not provide for a motive to want to end the life of that person.

"But, the money!" you say.

HUGE POINT: Michael Schiavo has been offered up to $10 million dollars to waive gaurdianship to the Schindlers. He has refused all offers.
HUGE POINT: Michael Schiavo had a contract drafted stating that should the Schindlers refrain from any further legal action, he will donate whatever his inheritance may be to charity. The Schindlers refused the offer.

Meet the Parents
HUGE POINT: Her parents claim that Schiavo was a devout Roman Catholic who did not wish to violate the Church's teachings on euthanasia, yet they repeatedly tried to use "psychic over-the-phone healing" to help her get better. The company they used, Galaxywave Inc., claims to use a machine that "opens a dimensional rift allowing direct communication between the machine and the other dimension" to find health solutions for people, especially with autism/autoimmune diseases. I don't think I have to remind everyone what the Church's stance is on the use of "psychics", and where that power, if any, truly comes from. The answer rhymes with Satan.

The primary point of this post is not that it was right to remove Terri Schiavo's feeding tube. Or even that Terri was truly in a PVS. My primary purpose in writing this post is to stress the importance of really researching an issue before you can claim knowledge on who is right or wrong about it. Especially when everyone around you is fanatical about it. Even the most apparently clear issues can become very murky on closer inspection. I only hope that none of my readers have been one of those deluded extremists that have threatened the life of people such as Judge Greer, and Michael Schiavo. BTW, in the 13 days it took Terri Schiavo to die, about 50,000 unborn children were murdered in the United States alone. Let's pray for, and try to to save these most precious lives.

DON'T STAND FOR SOMETHING BECAUSE EVERYONE YOU TRUST STANDS FOR IT. STAND FOR THE TRUTH, AND ONLY INASMUCH AS YOU KNOW IT TO BE THE TRUTH.

Sidenote to this Post: My younger sister, Arianna Grumbine, was very strongly involved in the Fight-For-Terri activism. She has been in Florida for the past month, picketing, doing interviews, and praying. She fasted the entire time since Terri's feeding tube was removed. My father also began fasting when the feeding tube was removed.

I only wish to bring the light of reason to an issue for which it is/was so easy to make your decisions emotionally. Generally speaking, your desire for a particular proposition to be true or false is inversely proportional to the amount of effort you're willing to expend to investigate it.

Crazy as a Midget Bodygaurd.

2005-03-31T23:53:00.000-08:00

After listening to 9 of this girl's songs, I have concluded that she as mentally stable as the Trinity is comprehensible. Still hot, though.

No wonder she's lost so many boyfriends.

Conservative Wisdom from South Park

2005-03-31T01:22:00.000-08:00

From the Sexual-Harassment Panda episode

Kyle's Dad: Kyle, let me explain something to you. You see, Kyle, we live in a Liberal-Democratic society and Democrats make sexual harassment laws. These laws tell us what we can and can't say in the workplace, and what we can and can't do in the workplace.
Kyle: Isn't that fascism?
Kyle's Dad: No, because we don't call it fascism.

Damn, I love this show.

Plagiarism!!

2005-03-26T01:16:00.000-08:00

Let it be known that the "climb through a ventilation shaft and lower oneself by wires into a gaurded room to steal something of great importance and then narrowly escape the return of the room's normal occupant, but accidently leave behind a useless item"(*whew*) course-of-action was first used by Maggie Simpson in Episode 2 of Season 4 of The Simpsons, titled "A Streetcar Named Marge".

The other, more popular, use of this course-of-action was released 4 years after the brilliant heroics of Maggie Simpson.

I will post the clip of the ORIGINAL scene once I check up on the Fair Use laws governing sharing of TV clips.

I am starting a boycott of the man who wrote the screenplay and story for that sadly unoriginal movie, but only until War of the Worlds comes out. Yes, that does mean I'll have to delay on buying The Exclusive Director's Cut Uncensored Limited Edition of The Shadow.

The sacrifices I make for standing up for something I believe in...(*sigh*)

Rock, Paper...Get a Life.

2005-03-25T01:34:00.000-08:00

Totally befuddled when watching the Rock-Paper-Scissors World Championship on TV a couple months ago at my local bar, I have finally struck upon what kind of people take this up as a serious sport(including personal trainers, and sponsorships). This is not the reason, although they might want to push that lie to feel better about themselves.

Rock-Paper-Scissors is truly fulfilling only for people who are not able to win @ 50% of anything they try. These people are actually, and truly, born losers. This is the only reasonable explanation for why these people would commit such a great part of their life's energy to such a truly meaningless sport.

And now, your moment of Zen.

2005-03-23T17:11:00.000-08:00

This precious kitten is actually a full grown cat, weighing in at a massive 3 lbs.(avg cat weighs 9 - 10 lbs).

Been busy again.

2005-03-22T02:31:00.000-08:00

Fraternitas Sacerdotalis Sancti Petri.

They're the dudes I just did a website for. The Canadian chapter, anyways. If I play my cards right, meaning I just sit here and wait, I'll be doing the North American website before long. Not great money, as I give them a discount rate with them being a charitable organization and all, but great for referrals. Apparently a lot of peeps know of them. Hopefully that means peeps with money. That want websites done. By me.

Well we're moving on up(moving on up) to the beach side. To a deluxe apartment in the saaaaand...

Fun with Fish, Family and Friends

2005-03-18T19:57:00.000-08:00

I just finished a most scrumptrulescent "homemade" sushi meal. My uncle/godfather/landlord has gotten better and better with each attempt as a sushi chef. This time we had spicy-salmon rolls, spicy-tuna rolls, california rolls, salmon and albacore sashimi/sushi. My uncle also tried out swordfish(delicious), and created his own invention of a swordfish roll with cucumber, avocado, and this crunchy garnish(I forget what it's called). It was perfect. The swordfish was smooth and buttery, and it was given a great crunch/flavor through the cucumber/unnamed garnish. And avocado makes everything better.

In addition, we had the crispiest, light golden shrimp tempura, and a veritable myriad of vegetable tempura, including broccoli, asparagus, sweet potato, and onion.

The food was taken standing, from a long counter, while my uncle/godfather/landlord on the other side of the counter sliced/wrapped more. T'n'T's(Tanqueray 'n' Tonic) a-plenty were had by all.

The meal was supplemented by the company of another uncle/aunt, and some friends of the family. The conversation was light, friendly, and jovial. I don't normally use the term jovial, but this atmosphere definitely was. The conversation centered around the next caribou hunting trip, and the last fishing/hiking trip. This my friends, is the Californian hick. Loves his guns, trophies, and wild meat BBQ's, but can discuss with the best about the strengths, and subtleties of a spicy-albacore sushi roll.

Damn, I'm gonna really miss this place.

-This Blog Was Brought To You By:
U2 - Sweetest Thing
Michael Bolton - How Am I supposed to live without you
Air Supply - All out of love
George Thoroughgood - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
Janis Joplin - Piece of My Heart
Eric Clapton - Tears in Heaven
Bob Dylan - A hard rains a-gonne fall
The Doobie Brothers - Give me the beat, boys
4 T'n'Ts

Ruminating on Our Lost Comrades

2005-03-18T12:01:00.000-08:00

While organizing my image files on my computer(I have quite a few, being in website design and all), I came across a folder of J.M. St. Francis. pics given to me by The Mexican(don't know if he has a blog to link to). These were from various times in J.M.'s 4 years at TAC, but mostly from his senior year. The one posted below struck me as particularly "J.M.-esque".

I will be putting together a gallery of J.M photos and posting it up indefinitely on SanityOnline. Please send me(agrumbine(at)sanityonline.com) any J.M. pictures you are willing to share with everyone.

I would like to put together a P. Levine gallery, as well, but I have no photos of him. So likewise goes for sending me photos of P. Levine.

I would also ask, that everyone who reads this say an Our Father, or personal prayer for the repose of the souls of these our Fallen Comrades.

May the souls of the faithfully departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen

A discussion between

2005-03-14T23:01:00.000-08:00

Aristotle and God, after Aristotle dies, and is reviewing his life with his Creator:

G: So, 'Stotle...you don't mind if I call you 'Stotle, do you?
A: Uh, no, no, go right ahead.
G: Yeeeah, so it appears you spent quite a bit of time in contemplation.
A: Well, yes, I do believe that the noblest faculty of man is his rationality. So it would follow that his most noble end would be in-
G: Yes, yes, I'm quite aware of the nature of man's rationality. I sort of created him that way. The main reason I was a bit concerned about all this contemplation, was because you seem to have neglected what I like to call the "corporal works of mercy".
A: Well, yes, but that's because I was so devoted to the pursuit of knowledge. Which I don't have explain to you is actually the pursuit of You, as you are the "Ultimate Reality", so to speak.
G: Yes, I have been called that before. Y'see, though, 'Stotle, although your mind may be the greatest of the gifts I gave you, I still gave you some other pretty cool things. You may remember hands, feet, skin, sensation, emotion...
A: Ahhh...you mean the animal faculties.
G: Yeah, the "animal" faculties. Funny thing, did you know that the angels call them the "human" faculties.
A: Angels, what're those?
G: You remember Socrates daimon? Oh nevermind, that's not what's important right now. You did believe that your soul would persist eternally after death, right?
A; It was the logical conclusion.
G: Yeah, well, didn't it strike you that you would have all of eternity to contemplate the higher things?
A: In a manner of speaking, you see I concluded that...
G: Yeah, well, honestly it doesn't matter much, now, what "you concluded", does it? You're here, and you actually do have all eternity to contemplate. The bottom line, though, is that you saw that your time with your body was limited, and yet you still decided to neglect all the good that could be accomplished through your body. You decided to toss aside all the gifts I gave you but one. That hurts, man, that really does.
A: Aww, c'mon...you can't seriously be getting on my case about this, can you? I didn't murder anyone, I obeyed the laws, I brought serious philosophy to western civilization.
G: It's true, it's true. But unfortunately with that "serious philosophy" you also brought a complacence towards material works which infected the the most intelligent and learned for 2000 years. Those that were most capable of reducing the sufferings of their fellow men were bound into inactivity by your "most noble end" of contemplation, even when I revealed myself to them, and told them that they would have all of eternity to contemplate, and that their time on earth should be used to help, and love their fellow man.
A: Look, man, you can't hold me responsible for-
G: But you are responsible, for a great part. Many people would consider you a saint and hold your partial works up as a bastion of truth, but I was never much of one for public opinion. C'mon, there's these three guys I want you to meet. The first one's name is Judas...

Next Week: 'Stotle, Judas, Brutus, and Cassius: Celebrity Post-Death-match!!

The Lonely Man.

2005-03-14T22:28:00.000-08:00

by Joe Harnell

Also known as "that sad walking away song from the Incredible Hulk" I dig it. Someone should remix it, so it lasts like 20 minutes.

Haven't been serious in a while.

2005-03-12T20:00:00.000-08:00

While surfing blogs I noticed a particular focus on HST. On one blog this even led to childlike rudeness between the commentators. The big question for me, is, would Hunter have even cared about something negative someone said about him? He never did during his life. Why should any fan of his care? It seems to me that the proper fan is a fan because they respect/admire him for his incredible social acuity, unshakeable integrity and pioneering spirit, not because they want to experience their personal, social rebellion vicariously through him. If someone says to me, "Thomas Jefferson was a fucking hypocrite cuz he had so many slaves." I would reply that his hypocrisy, if admitted, is not what I admire in him.

Not that I like to do this very often, but I think we should go back to Aristotle, and remember what it was that made this man a great man, essentially, and not include the accidental properties into our conception of his greatness.

"Thinking too little about things, or thinking too much both make us obstinate and fanatical."
-Pascal - Pensees

Going to the Snow

2005-03-12T18:48:00.000-08:00

I went to the snow on Thursday with my family, and my uncle's family. We had a blast sledding, throwing snowballs, starting to build a snow fort, and freezing our asses off the entire time. Even though our families go the snow 3-4 times each year(more than most Southern Californians) we still have a hard time understanding the fact that we are walking through, digging in, and playing with a substance that is too harsh for our bodies to survive in without protection.
We(SoCalians) seem to view the snow more as very lightweight sand that sticks together real well, and melts. This probably comes from our frequent experiences at the beach. What results from this view is incredible frustration with gloves, knit caps(or tuques - for you canadians), snow boots, and snow pants, which are either forgotten, or quickly removed so as to be able to form/throw snowballs better, and to be able to move around with the greater ease.
We invariably end up dismayed by the fact that our minimalist clothing habits are not being respected by Mother Nature, and are usually more than happy to clamber back into the car, and return to our usually sunny, 78 degree weather. This also leads us to conclude that snow, as a regular weather, is much worse than snow, as a place to go to. And so we are all quite happy with our 9 months(usually) of summer, and see the loss of the colors of autumn, and the new life of spring, as something very minor compared to the loss of physical freedom and freedom of dress that accompanies that evil time they call winter.

What a wonderful world.

2005-03-10T21:59:00.000-08:00

God bless the Wikipedia.

And WTF is up with this mad chess craze at TAC? What happened to poker, or bridge for that matter?

Every blogger, from P-Tine, the don, a million, and CP are crazy-go-nuts about chess. Is 'Pigeoned' mostly responsible for this rapid pastime-focus-shift, or was it something/someone else?

A Murder of Crows

2005-03-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

The origin for this odd collective noun is actually pretty interesting.

In England in the Middle Ages, there was serious rashes of highway robbery, whenever someone was killed, they would be stripped of all their belongings, and left out to the elements. One of these elements was the carrion bird, of which the crow, especially near the cities(where there was plenty of garbage to pick through), was the most plentiful. Whenever a group of travelers scared up a group of crows on a main road, it was a sure sign that a murder had taken place, and the crows were finishing up what was left of the poor victims. Hence a group of crows began to be called after that of which they were a sure sign. Actually that story was totally bogus. I was just thinking of carrion birds today as a couple dozen turkey vultures circled over the property next to me, which led me to Google, which gave me no answers concernig a "murder of crows". So I made one up. Hope you liked it. Here's some more collective nouns for animals, with some "explanations" of the origins.

A Singular of Boars
"Look, Bob, there has to be hundreds of boars down there"
"Yup, that's one helluva singular."
An Obstinacy of Buffalo
This name actually came about in the mid-1800's when the cowboys first tried to domesticate the buffalo. Shortly after this, they were like, "Fuck it," and just massacred them by the thousands.
A Destruction of Cats (domestic or feral)
Hehehe...Just funny.
A Cowardice of Curs
Understandable, especially with destructions of feral cats roaming the streets.`
A Crash of Rhinoceroses
Pretty easy(but still funny) to think how this one came about.
A Harass of Horses
Not too sure on this one.
A Cry of Hounds
Makes sense.
A Mute of Hounds
Makes sense. Wait! No it doesn't!
A Kindle of Kittens
During the Industrial Revolution, whenever there was a shortage of coal...
A Sault of Lions
Safari Guide: "OMG, it's an assault of lions!"
Eager Naturalist: (jotting down in notepad) "What was that you just called them. A sault, wasn't it..Aaaiieee!!"
A Mission of Monkeys
Before the coming to the Americas, the Spaniards practiced their evangelization methods on primates.
An Aurora of Polar Bears
Just like the Northern Lights, or a rosy-fingered dawn(no comments Duncan), except they'll tear you limb from limb if they feel like it. I get it now.
A Sneak of Weasels
Makes sense.
An Ugly of Walruses
If ever it was appropriate to abuse an adjective, this would be the case.
A Congress of Baboons
This noun came into existence shortly after C-SPAN first aired.
An Arrogance of TAC'ers
Makes sense.

And "yes", the safari guide actually did yell "oh-em-gee". He's crazy like that.

New Contest Idea

2005-03-05T20:16:00.000-08:00

I was just thinking...wouldn't it be a badass idea if every week I gave all the TAC'ers(who read this) an Aqua Teen Hunger Force quote, and the first person to slip it(audibly) into class discussion would win their choice of a 6-pack of beer or 2 packs of smokes from Yours Truly?

In order for there to actually be some serious competition, though, I want there to be a plethora of potential participants. Soooo...if you're a TAC'er, comment that you would like to participate. As soon as we get 12-15 people we'll start. In order to be eligible for the prize you have to post a comment, or e-mail me @sanityonline.com(I get all the mail for the site).

The beer or cigarettes will be delivered to the winners each month. If you're under 21, you'll have to take the cigarettes, because I never provide alcohol to those under the minmum legal drinking age.

The rest of the rules will follow upon receipt of a full roster of participants.

Hey y'all, check this out.

2005-03-05T03:31:00.000-08:00

I just (almost)finished the latest version of the Sanity Online website. Check it out.

Sorry, no time for anything entertaining today, I been hitting the websites as hard as Duncan Dickson's been hitting the bong..

ATHF and Duncan Dickson

2005-03-03T01:26:00.000-08:00

To Duncan: Get a blog, fool, so we can know what's happening with you.

The Best Aqua Teen Hunger Force Quote Ever:

(soft, inspirational music in the background)
Meatwad: Listen to me, Randy. It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, whether your white, or black, or sasquatch even. As long as you follow your dream, no matter how crazy or against the law it is, except for a sasquatch, if you're a sasquatch the rules are different...
Randy: Forget it, Meatwad, I'm a circus freak, and that's all I'll ever be.
Meatwad:Whatever.

a weekend with The Don

2005-03-02T00:35:00.000-08:00

Everyone's Favorite Computer Genius stopped by this last weekend, bringing the necessary motherboard and Coronas to fix the Professional Expert's computer. I was hoping to get a reminder taste of the TAC socially-sheltered-but-I'm-trying thing, but he came alone.

In return for his aid with my machine, Donzilla was granted caribou steaks, and the incredible(for TACers) opportunity to drink beers indoors while playing many a game of pool. Good times were had by all.

Don's visit also brought out an epiphany. Geniuses don't need to follow all the rules and routines that other people do. These rules and routines are developed for people who don't know best how to analyze their situation and make the best decision on what to do next. Geniuses are fully capable of best knowing when, where, how, and why to do each activity of personal life. Hence the "mad scientist", "absent-minded professor" personas. It's not that they don't remember. It's that they've created their own personal routine for handling these things according to their(not society's) priority.

All the rest of you fuckers that haven't "been able"(don't give me that whole "road is closed off" excuse) to visit have pretty much lost your chance to chill at probably the best pad this side of the Sierra Nevadas.

I'm moving into the LBC on the weekend of April 1-3. I'll be living with a couple of friends from high school, but won't have the caribou, pool table, or jacuzzi. This move does put me dangerously close to Commerce Casino, though(someone tell le Bucher and Daddy). And about 1/4 mile from the beach apparently(someone tell anybody who likes going to clean, sandy beaches filled with beautiful people).

More as it develops.

By popular demand.

2005-02-28T01:14:00.000-08:00

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Quote of the Day:

Meatwad: Is that what I think it is?
Frylock: It's an NST. A Neural-Speech-Transmitter.
Meatwad: No, it's my BNCS. My Brushed-Nickel-Colander, Stupid. Now take dem wires off and gives it back.

ATHF

2005-02-24T00:14:00.000-08:00

Line-of-the-Day from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Inignot: Quiet, Err. I'm transmitting rage.

Million Dollar Idea #2

2005-02-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

A reality TV show that follows the lives of 3-4 roommates, that are amatuer poker players, trying to become professionals.

WTF, mate?!?

2005-02-19T00:16:00.000-08:00

Who the fuck decided chocolate Lucky Charms was a good idea?!?!

This world has gone to all hell. Officially.

How to become black.

2005-02-18T18:27:00.000-08:00

As I was watching "The 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs...Ever" on VH1, a commercial came on to advertise for two consecutive 1-hour specials("VH1 TV Moments" and "Ultimate Albums") about the artist, Eminem, followed by the movie, "8 mile", starring Eminem.

They ended the commercial by letting you know that all these wonderful shows and the movie about Eminem were "just another part of Black History Month".

Will Gamble For Food...

2005-02-18T15:11:00.000-08:00

With my computer being down, and too much time on my hands, I've decided to give PP another spin. Gonna keep it to .5/1 holdem. At least I'll earn some money over the next couple days, until my new mobo arrives.
JT?
Frizzle?
Still waiting.

Free Verse is for Losers

2005-02-16T23:16:00.000-08:00

The following is a bit of a rhyme,
my computer is down giving me,
inspiration and too much time,
what you get is what you see.

Change - Part 1

The weight of years upon my eyes,
   Pushing me into the darkness, so deep.
The weight of all those hidden lies,
   Crushing motivation within, can't sleep.
Thoughts churn, as slow as thickest cream,
   Finding, within, the will to move, I smile.
Words form and flow, breaking the dream.
   Revealing the evils I bear, sans guile.
Bouncing, the pebble gathers force,
   Colliding with many, unity's born.
Pushing and pulling along their course.
   Lethargy, from the body, is torn.

© Arthur Grumbine 2005

Latest and Greatest

2005-02-15T17:24:00.000-08:00

Check out the site I'm finishing up for my aunt and uncle's berry/pumpkin farm in San Luis Obispo.
Pretty sexy, huh?

What a difference 3 days make...

2005-02-13T22:26:00.000-08:00

I'm now considering the possibility of perhaps one day thinking of considering(oh, I already used that one) of returning to TAC. More on this later.

Programmers & Designers & Inventors

2005-02-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

After reading article after article on outsourcing, automation, and compumation(automation of computing tasks), and the jobs that are being lost, as well as being aware of the trends/focus of our technological developments, I predict that this sentence is far to long, and has far to many commas, and not enough periods, in it

So I'll finish what I was going to say here. Eventually(200-400 years) we will remove all jobs from the workplace except those that create logically, emotionally, or intuitively. The programmers, the designers, and the inventors.

Every task we perform with our bodies will be simulated by machines.

I challenge any reader of this post to come up with an action we perform with our bodies that won't be able to replicated more perfectly by a well-designed machine.

In fact, everything that we do according to a set of given rules, including doctoring, auto mechanics, driving, all purely physical labor, teaching, etc. will be replaced by a machine that does it more efficiently because it has more precise physical capabilities and it's programming will be written based on the expertise/guidelines of the greatest minds in that particular field.

But feel free to prove me wrong by presenting something besides the three mentioned tasks that will be able to be performed only by humans.

The Point of Life, is Life.

2005-02-10T22:38:00.000-08:00

The reason for my leaving TAC was my realization that the knowledge I was gaining was not most conducive towards me achieving my purposes in life.

In order for me to fulfill the ends for which I was created, it is necessary that I live in a constant state of evaluation of how much my activities are utilizing the gifts the Creator gave me, and whether the end of all the activities of my life are the greatest possible end for my particular set of strengths and weaknesses.

This being said, let it be known by all that unless my life is ended prematurely, I will end the greatest evil to society in the world. I(like Mother Teresa) believe this to currently be abortion. However, if abortion is ended before I have the ability(resources) to end it myself, or if another even greater evil arises, I will turn my efforts towards that next greatest evil. And I will defeat it.

LOL, BTW, THX

2005-02-09T01:51:00.000-08:00

Instead Of Getting Annoyed By The Proliferation Of Chat Abbreviations, I've Decided That This Viral-Like Expansion Of Our Vocabulary Is Actually A Good Thing, Because Of How Much Time We Are Saving. So From Now On All Of My Sentences Are Going To Be Saved Here As Acronyms.

This Way If I Want To Repeat Anything I've Written Before, I Merely Have To Write The Acronym, And You Will All Understand, Eventually. So, If I Wanted To Repeat This Post, I Would Type The Following.

IOGABTPOCAIDTTVLEOOVIAAGTBOHMTWAS.
SFNOAOMSAGTBSHAA.
TWIIWTRAIWBIMHTWTAAYWAUE.
SIIWTRTPIWTTF.

I expect you all to remember this, and follow along. I will no longer waste ANY time.

A Drunk Joke.

2005-02-09T01:19:00.000-08:00

A man is pulled over late one night.
"Son, do you know why I pulled you over?" asks the officer.
"No, officer, I don't," replies the young man.
"Well, you were swerving quite a bit back there," explains the officer, "I'm gonna have to ask you to take a Breathalyzer, o.k.?
"No," was the firm reply of the driver.
"What?!?" said the startled police officer, "why not?"
"Well, you see, officer, I'm ashmatic, I don't have my inhaler on me, and if a take a Breathalyzer test, I'm afraid I could have an asthma attack," explained the young man.
"Oh, o.k. then," said the flustered officer,"can you just urinate in this little cup here, so we could do a urinalysis?"
"No," was the reply, again from the young man.
"Well, why not?" asked the officer.
"Well, you see, officer," he said, " I'm diabetic, I don't have my insulin on me, and if I urinate right now, I could lower my blood sugar to dangerous levels."
"Well, then can you come down to the station to take a blood test?" asked the officer entreatingly.
"No," was the reply, yet again.
"Why not?!?" asked the puzzled, and annoyed, officer.
"Well, you see, officer," began the young man, "I'm a hemophiliac, and if someone takes a blood sample right now, I could bleed to death."
"Fine," said the flustered police officer, "can you at least step out of the vehicle, and walk a straight line?"
"No," was the abrupt reply.
"Well, why the hell not?!?" asked the police officer.
"Well, you see, officer," explained the young man, "I'm drunk."

-mercilessly taken from The Reader's Digest

Damn Your Drama!!

2005-02-07T22:14:00.000-08:00

All you fools that are constantly complain(even silently) about all your personal fucking WOES, need to shut the fuck up.

People are really fucking suffering out there, and you are not one of them. Be fucking glad in everything good that you do have.

How fucking blind we have become.

Guinea Pigs - Assemble!

2005-02-04T20:53:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to make full use of my blog writing time, and to get an accurate idea of who is seeing my blog, all visitors are required to comment on the following logos.
I am developing a website for a mid-size orthotics manufacturer, and the logo needs to capture a "clean, professional medical-products-manufacturer" look.

All you need to do is post the number of the logo you think best, and gimme your damn name if you're not Raf, P. Frizzle, Max, or Zed. Thanks.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

J. John Baer and the Illuminati - 5 degrees of seperation

2005-02-01T23:37:00.000-08:00

Interesting to note how our favorite Sophmore Theology/Freshman Lab/Junior Seminar tutor is strongly connected with the organization bent on control of the world's information.

John Baer was a Norbertine(click here). And so was formed by the particular values/beliefs held by St. Norbert.

St. Norbert was good friends with St. Bernard, who together caused a certain Pope Innocent II be recognized as the rightful pope.(click here for reference)
This shows a unity of mind that would belie a common value/belief system.

St. Bernard was the most influential figure in the formation of the values/beliefs of the Knights Templar(click here), who could not have grown into the powerful society they were without the aid/recognition of the Pope at the time.

The initiation rituals of the Masonic Order(Freemasonry) are the same as the initiation rituals for the Knights Templar(click here), and the masonic youth order is called DeMolay(click here), after Jacques de Molay, the last Grandmaster of the Knights Templar, burned at the stake as a heretic(click here).

And, as everybody knows, Freemasonry is a front for the Illuminati.(as admitted here www.freemason.org)
Therefore J. John Baer has to a greater or lesser degree, the same values/beliefs as the Illuminati.
Do not trust this man! I know I didn't.

Q.E.D.
(although Q.E.F. might be a little bit more appropriate here)

Disclaimer: Nothing said here is intended to offend anyone but Mr. Baer.

Welcome to the Arthur Grumbine Conspiracy Theory Corner.

2005-02-01T16:00:00.000-08:00

Being inspired by Raf's outreach to the readers, I too, have decided to go to my readers(both of you), to decide what to write about next. These are the criteria, followed by a couple options:
1 - It must be a conspiracy
2 - It must be believable to someone with an I.Q. above 50
3 - It must be of a very large scope(no piddling "TAC faculty wants to brainwash us all into home-schooled Thomistic-Aristotelians" shit, I'm talking @ least nationwide)
4 - It must answer at least one of the TLC's(The Learning Channel) "Ultimate Ten...Unexplained Mysteries"(yes, I know that's redundant)
If any the following are included in it, all the better:
Jimmy Hoffa
Dinosaurs
Roanoke Island
Easter Island
Atlantis
The Pyramids
Stonehenge
Nazca Line Drawings
Latin
Roman, Greek, Babylonian, Hindu, Aztec, Mayan, Norse Mythology
Genesis 6:1 - 6:4
Neckties
Buddhist monks doing crazy things
Area 51

Two of my own personal theories relate to:
The Illuminati
The Origin of Dragons
These two may be connected but I have yet to figure out how.
Anyways please pick one of the above two, or post a new theory, and if it's good enough, I'll begin writing/researching it.

#1 Free Million-Dollar-Idea - A diagnose-yourself online database program that has every known disease/sickness/affliction - with all their symptoms - systematically arranged, so that it can cross-reference input from a patient with the database, and their medical record.

So that after answering a couple dozen multiple choice questions about the symptoms I'm feeling, the program can give me percentage likelihoods of what I have, i.e. 93% chance of head cold, 5% of flu, 1% chance of pneummonia, 0.5% chance of brain tumor, etc.

This would be a pay-per-use database with all the easiest ways to charge(i.e. Paypal, checking account, etc).
The cost of creating such a huge database and gaining the rights to access people's medical records makes it unreasonable as a goal for me, but whoever does this, with good advertising, will make millions.

Requiem for the Steelers.

2005-01-24T01:06:00.000-08:00

The 15-1 season has ended.

Ben Roethlisburger has finally lost a game that he started.

Jerome Bettis might have played his last game in the NFL.

The Steelers have lost.

Now I can go into a very complex New England Patriots Conspiracy Theory that revolves around how they, with a decent, but not great team, have won two out of the last 3 Superbowls. One right after a terrorist attack that momentarily brought all of America, besides the liberal hippie douches in Berkely, together. The next Superbowl was won after tensions over the lack of WMD(weapons of mass destruction) had reached a high. How convenient, that the PATRIOTS, win the most watched, anticipated, and celebrated event on television.

But, I'm NOT going to talk about such a "crazy" conspiracy.

I'm not bitter that my Steelers lost. I have plenty of other things to watch on Sunday afternoons.
Besides, now I realize it was my inner genius that prevented me from making those Superbowl bets back in December.

Ha, ha. I win again!!
.....
(sigh) I feel, so empty. Might as well go press the Really Big Button a couple times...

Return of the Great White Lie.

2005-01-21T21:15:00.000-08:00

Definition #1 - A white lie is a response that is intentionally partially or fully false, and is made because the speaker has reason to believe that the recipient is not capable of understanding the depth of the truth, or because there can be no benefit gained by the recipient in knowing the full truth.

White lies are a part of our daily interactions. They're everywhere.
Every time that someone asks you how you are doing, because you look(and are feeling) a little down, and you tell them you're "fine", or "good".
When a (much)younger sibling asks you what "fuck", or "rape", means, and you divert the conversation.
When you hide something from a friend, because you don't think they'll understand the full truth of the matter.
When you calm down a very angry(and not to bright) individual, by telling him that your friend calling him a "imbecilic cretin", was not an insult.

Question #2 - What are the wall, lakes, war, depression, escape, books, "googely-moogely", and outdoors?

All I can hope for at the end of life, is that I can look back at what I had done, and say, "Damn, I'm good."

Of course, there is always the possibility that our afterlife is determined by what we believe. Meaning that if we believe we should be ghosts, we will be. If we believe that there should be eternal happiness, so shall we have it. Same for believing in reincarnation, or becoming a deity(wouldn't that be fun?).

This means of course that no matter what we should never believe that we are going to hell.

Mistake #1 - Not laying $50 on the Pittsburgh Steelers, when their Superbowl odds were 6.5:1, with hedged bets on Atlanta, Philly, and Patriots.

Tip #2 - The easiest thing in the world to sell is image.

Coolest-Thing-on-the-web-Today(click)

Things-on-my-Mind #2 - The well-being of "the guys" @ TAC. Toyota Tundra vs. El Camino. Plus Labs website. Pittsburgh Steelers. Gentleman Jack(on my tongue as well). Changing the minds of 120 million people.

A Day in the Diary of the Chronicles of...

2005-01-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

My HUGELY popular blog, against popular non-demand musn't, unfortunately, be discontinued.

Answer-to-Jack #1 - Without a doubt, I am probably not going to be returning to That Anonymous College, at least as a non-visitor.

Aside-To-Happy #1 - With all the Rocco's Pizza you desire, and a continued effort to keep your girlish figure as far from your true figure as possible, I would never call you inadequate. Your probably about 1.5 times as adequate as I hope be.

Apparently-Callous-Thought #1 - After watching endless hours of CNN coverage of The Tsunami Disaster Tragedy, I find myself reflecting more and more upon a tragedy that is so much greater in magnitude and so much less thought about, spoken of, or acted upon.

According to a study done by the Alan Guttmacher Institute, in the United States alone we lost about 45 million fellow Americans to infanticide, between 1973 and 2003.

Assuming that 90% of these abortions were performed during normal business hours, i.e. 8 a.m. - 5 p.m., 6 days a week, as you walk around for the next couple days, think about the fact that every 10 seconds, from 8 a.m. EST, to 5 p.m. PST(12 hours each day), some little boy or girl is screaming silently in pain as saline(or some similar) solution burns it to death, effectively drowning the little child in his or her's mother's womb, or as forceps crush the skull, then pull the body limb from limb, for smooth exit.

Every 10 seconds. Oh! Did you hear that? Another silent scream while you read this paragraph. At least the far majority of the people who died in The Tsunami Disaster Tragedy were able to see beautiful sunsets. Were able to taste delicious foods. Were able to breath fresh air. Were able to be hugged by their mother.

How many millions of dollars are going to be donated to these Tsunami Disaster victims, by people who say they are pro-life, yet donate a mere fraction towards effective means of ending the greatest tragedy of all. This tragedy so great, capitalizing the letters of it's name only lessens, by association, the extremity of it's evil.

What are you doing to protect those that never had a chance? Is it easier to swallow because CNN, MSNBC, AOL/TimeWarner, CBS, ABC, and FOX aren't shoving the reality of it down our throats? Of course it is.

We don't have to stare at broken bodies, torn limbs, and crushed skulls when we turn on the TV, or go on the internet. We don't have tear-jerking montages of the lost hopes and dreams of all these children, urging us to give, however small we can, for the cause.

How fortunate we are! To be able to surf away from this article, and let the images and thoughts it conjured evaporate, like our spending money each Friday and Saturday night.

How truly lucky we are to have the mass media report to us such TERRIBLE events as 150,000 people dying from a natural disaster! Or 5 people dying in a building fire! Or 38 people...wait...did you just hear something?

The Beginning of the, uh, whatever...

2005-01-09T01:35:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my wonderful blog! I am smarter than you, sexier than you, happier than you, wittier than you, luckier than you, and will soon be wealthier than you.

The sooner you come to terms with your inadequacy, and my greatness, the happier you will be in your little, meaningless life.

Tip #1 - People are more willing to read something that is 1-3 lines of text. So accounting for different screen resolutions, you will find all my posts will follow this important criterion.

Everyone that will read this should take a gander aqui.

Reason-to-Read-My-Blog #1 - Watch the rise of a drop-out(by choice, not grades) from That Anonymous College to multi-billionaire over the course of the next 24 years.

Things-On-My-Mind #1 - MandrakeLinux, PHP, www.SJW.ca, Pittsburgh Steelers(15-1), continual self-improvement, 1969 El Camino, Laptop, online business course.

Question #1 - Who was the first blogger to come up with "That Anonymous College"?